Tag Archives: ridiculousness

Word of the day: Antique

Antique:

1. (adj) belonging to the distant past or ancient times

2. (adj.) showing signs of great age or wear

3. (adj.) old-fashion or outdated

3. (n.) a collectable object such as a piece of furniture or work of art that has a high value because of its age and quality

 

Aunt:     Why do you keep these things, Ma? They are so old, they are antique!

Grandma:     But nowadays antiques have a lot of value, no?

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What the fuck, JobCentral?

Whose idea was this? Is your CEO Mike Jeffries?

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Spiteful Thought on Exercise, No. 156

Squeeze in my lower abdomen? Only my lower abdomen? How? I only have the one stomach. I can’t segment and isolate my body like some Gray’s Anatomy textbook…

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Part-time Malaysians need not apply

Accessories shop at Serangoon Nex. (Me, 22 Sept 2012)

Part-time Malaysians like my Dad need not apply.

Such are the hiring practices of Singaporean employers.

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Mum: “Got hope one…”

Mum reading – and seriously considering – outdoor personal training ad. (Me, 22 Sept 2012)

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Sad nerd

I don’t know how people can count salad as a square meal, nor am I sure how it’s considered chic dining — I keep getting salad dressing on my chin and vegetable stems up my nostrils…

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Bo chio

I’m looking up on Facebook the CHIOBU MOVEMENT art party that’s happening later today.  I’m mid-way through my word search and the sheer number of thickskinned people with ‘chiobu’ in their user names…

I cough blood.

*Chiobu means ‘pretty girl/woman’ in Hokkien.

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Jesus Christ, Son of Orang Utan

The botched attempts to restore a church fresco of Jesus Christ by an elderly Spanish parishioner have stunned the world when she devolved the Son of God into an orang utan.

Maybe the Muslims were right about not depicting religious figures in art…

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An unfortunately named landmark

Street sign for local Christian church. (Me, 15 Aug 2012)

*Kay poh is Singlish for ‘nosy’ or ‘a busybody’.

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I learnt my Cantonese from TVB dramas

I learnt my Cantonese from TVB dramas. So I can only order dim sum and the palace guards to cut off that dog traitor’s head in my efforts to depose of the Qing Empress and to instate my own son as crown prince.

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